I’m Honking About It

“I’m honking about it” was one of the more recent auto-corrects from my iPhone.  It was actually in response to a text about trying out for a certain musical and now my friend may think I have lost my mind.  Or that I am driving through my small town laying on my horn.  Or that I am tapping lightly on my horn like when I don’t want to be rude to the person in front of me, but the light has changed to green. Or that I am considering changing to Aflac.  Honk.

Today, my lovely auto-correct fixed my message to my husband (aka The Captain) who is currently at the theater while I am honking all over Northeast Ohio.  My text to him was originally supposed to be this: “I will take care of dinner.  I love you.”  But turned out like this: “I will take car to diner.  I live you.”  Usually, I am pretty good at proofreading texts before sending, but this was the one that got away.  His reply was a simple “?”.  I feel like a simple “?” also.

On another note, The Captain is very new to texting.  He does not like to use any emoticans or any texting shortcuts like brb, lol or ttyl.  In fact, I did text him a very un-classy “fml” once when I crashed my mommy hauler mini-van into another car, and he did not respond.  Later, he told me that he had to ask around what it meant and one very kind friend of ours told him (politely) that it was “f*%$ my life.”  He then texted me and asked my why I would text him something so awful.  I told him because I was angry about the van.  He texted back, “You have a good life.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”  I texted back a sad face – :(.  I didn’t get a reply.

A few weeks ago, mind you he has had a new iPhone since September, I texted him a little funny story about the sticker that I wore on my shirt for the entire day (one that has the size of the shirt on it, and no one was kind enough to tell me about it until the end of the day).  Yeah, how cool is that?!  After it, I put the usual “Lol.”  He texted me back stating he didn’t understand why I put lol on the text.  He said I was not using it in the right context.  I texted back “???” and he called me.

Laugh out loud or lots of love?

Captain: Allison, why are you texting LOL after a funny story?

Me:  Hmm, because it was a funny story.

Captain:  That is just plain weird.  These texting shortcuts have to stop.

Me: It was a good thing to text after my shirt fiasco.  I thought you would think it is was funny.  What is the issue?

Captain:  The issue is that LOL means Lots of Love, so I don’t recall what that has to do with a size sticker on the front of your shirt.

Me:  What?

Captain:  It means lots of love, right?

Me:  It means Laugh out Loud.  Seriously?  You thought it meant lots of love? Awww, that is really sweet, but, seriously, it means laugh out loud.

Captain:  Ugh.  Texting is so annoying.  But, now that you mention it, that does makes sense.  I wondered why my friends kept putting it on their texts.  I thought it was strange.

Me:  (ROTFL) OK. (Giggling) I will be home soon.

The latest series of texting snaffoos goes like this:

Captain:  What do you want for dinner?

Me:  idk

Captain:  What do you mean you don’t care?  By the way, care starts with a “c” not a “k.”

Me:  IDK means I don’t know.

Captain:  Oh.  OK.

I think from now on I am just going to let him think what he wants to think about the texting shortcuts.  Maybe I will even tell him that in certain contexts fml means “for my love.”  Or, maybe not.  Idk.  But at least, every time I think (or honk) about it, I am ROTFL.

A book I got my husband for Christmas. It is hilarious!

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35 thoughts on “I’m Honking About It

  1. Poor hubby! I feel his pain. I really hate texting. I do abbreviations all the time, but no one understands them. My fat fingers just can’t type out the correct words. Great post and so funny! LOL.

  2. I’m not very good about texting shortcuts. Fortunately, my daughters and sons-in-law know that, so they don’t use them. My sister hasn’t a clue either, so I’m lucky. BTW, I was always confused about LOL too–I thought it meant BOTH “laughing out loud” and “lots of love!” OMG

  3. Haha! Way too funny. I actually abandoned most short cuts (most of the time) in texting, etc. Some I keep around or use for some sort of effect (comedy, when I really have to rush), etc. But I use emoticons like it’s my job sometimes. Your poor husband, so confused.

    • I use emoticons a ton, too! I have a hard time with texting because it never shows what I am feeling. I tend to overuse exclamation points, too. 🙂 My husband, of course, doesn’t use exclamation points either. 😦

  4. Haha!! This made me LOL (laugh out loud- not lots of love).

    I hope your husband emerges from the rock he’s been under soon. I guess he must not have been on the AIM bandwagon back in the day. That, or he was successful at ignoring all of the annoying abbreviations.

    I don’t like using abbreviations in texting much, mostly because it makes me feel like a 14 year-old girl. Because of that, it also takes me forever to reply to a text, which has made email much more appealing.

    • He is still under a rock. He doesn’t believe in Facebook and got annoyed because I made him make a gmail account because I thought maybe he wouldn’t want to put his work email on his own phone. You should stop by when he has an update on his iPhone. The password is my name and birthday and he asks me to type it in every time – “What is the password again for this iPhone? Can you just type it?” Come to think about it, I think that is a blog entry in itself!

  5. “These texting shortcuts have to stop.” ~ that made me laugh so hard. I don’t even know The Captain, but just picturing a man, ANY man, saying that is just hilarious… 🙂

  6. Pingback: I Made It! And Got an Award, too! | jeandayfriday

  7. Um, I can relate to your husband. I don’t know what half of those mean and I don’t text yet. So behind! When I start, I’ll be in touch so I don’t embarrass myself. Funny post. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Yours is great.

  8. As a man, I feel The Captain’s pain. Sometimes the world just moves too flippin’ fast for my taste. And how can I get a cool moniker like him? Ha!

  9. I can’t stop laughing at this post, my hubby is the same way, he refuses to text. Whenever I send him a text it goes unanswered or he just calls me. One of these days I tell myself he’ll catch up.

    By the way, I never would have stumbled across this post had you not included it in Susie’s blog party!

  10. I think you should text him the end-all, be-all of texting: OMGWTFBBQ. Because even when you tell him what it means, he’ll still be confused LOL

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