Don’t let me near any Christmas lights. I may send Santa over the moon.
Everything I have tried to accomplish has backfired. Where is the switch in the garage to light up my world?
I feel as if I am heading toward Walley World without a map. Where is my family truckster?
I have no patience with people today. “Kiss his ass, kiss your ass, kiss my ass, Happy Chanukah.”
Now, I have always been a fan of Clark (or Sparky as he is lovingly called), and I know that sometimes The Captain has some of Clark’s tendencies. So, maybe if I recap some of those, my day will get a little bit brighter. Here goes:
When The Captain starts a project, he must finish it. He cannot stand to let it go halfway. “Russ, we checked every bulb, didn’t we? Hmm… Maybe we ought to just go up there and check some more…”
When unexpected company arrives, The Captain has a way with words. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
When The Captain gets a little down, he can see the big picture. “WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell.”
When The Captain drives the mini-van, he can get a little road rage. “Burn dust, eat my rubber!”
When The Captain has an annoying visitor, relative or otherwise, he can get sarcastic. “Surprised Eddy? If I woke up tomorrow with my head stapled to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
When The Captain decorates for the holidays, he takes the task very seriously as, I’m sure, he will teach to our dudes. “Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.”
When The Captain is packing for a trip, he sometimes feels like a pack mule. “Well I’m gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I’ll be outside for the season.”
When The Captain remembers his childhood, he always has fond memories. “When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun.”
And when The Captain has had his fill of family vacations, he looks on the bright side. “Well I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles. ”
That helped some, but I think I am still Sparky today.
Here is the fearful thing: I said this in the hallway and a student asked me, “Who is Clark Griswold?” I began humming, shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.
Walley World, anyone?