In Ohio, the autumn weather can be tricky. Usually there are some pretty days of glorious color followed by overcast and drizzly days. This past weekend, we were lucky enough to have one of those gorgeous fall days when I want to spin on a hilltop singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” Wait, that is another fantasy. I digress. Of course, there are only a few pretty days left on the calendar, and this was one of them.
With a beautiful weekend day comes the classic question: “Mom, can we go outside and play?”
Of course, my answer is, “Yes, please, do, go, bye!”
On Saturday, the sun was shining, and I received the question I knew was first thing on their minds when they woke up that morning.
“Mom,” said Squishy, “It is nice outside! Can we go outside and play?”
“Of course you can,” I said, looking up from the waffles I was making. (Actually, Eggo made them. I put them in the toaster. For me, this is domestic bliss.)
“Well, when can we go? We have some business in the woods to take care of,” he said sounding like he was about to audition for The Sopranos.
“What ‘business’ do you have in the woods?” I asked.
“Oh, Mom, all you need to know is that it is for your protection. OK?”
“What, in fact, are you protecting me from?” I questioned him as I sprinkled cinnamon on the waffles (see, I am a domestic diva!)
“We are saving the neighborhood from the upcoming zombie attack,” he said with sheer seriousness.
I turned to him in horror thinking maybe he had seen an episode of The Walking Dead or something?!
“What would make you believe there is an upcoming zombie attack,” I asked, praying he didn’t access my Netflix account on the iPad (darn you, zombie shows that pull me in, darn you!)
“Mom, it is just a matter of time when someone makes a vaccine that will take out the human race and turn everyone into a zombie. Seriously, you should know this. You are a teacher. Gosh,” he stated as he rolled his eyes, disgusted with me.
Now I am wondering if he was scoping out my Kindle and came across my latest read, The Passage. Or maybe I Am Legend. Was there some zombie thing on TBS or something? Darn you, TBS, darn you!
“I highly doubt that will happen, Squishy, but if it does…”
“If it does, Mom, you will probably make us have the shot at the doctors, and you really won’t be prepared when we turn into zombies. So, we must prepare now,” he said interrupting me.
What the heck is he watching on Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel?
“OK,” I said, knowing full well he was getting antsy to get outside and save the world.
After a while, I went outside to check on the progress of thwarting the impending zombie apocalypse. I found Nerf guns, sticks and a mountain of leaves ready to protect the innocent. I also found the neighborhood posse in the middle of the street strategic planning their next move.
“What are you all working on?” I said to the group of defenders.
“Mom, I already told you. We are making sure the neighborhood is safe,” Squishy answered. The rest of the posse nodded enthusiastically.
“Well, in that case,” I said, “carry on.”
And they did.
So, a message to all zombies: Beware, zombies, beware of our street. We have protection in the form of elementary students. Scary, right?
Lol aww, well I know I feel safer! But seriously, what have they been watching? 😉
I know, right?! I may need to be a little better at monitoring. 😉
Ah, the anti-vaccine paranoia starts early, I see. 😉
I love your sense of humor. What a fun (and funny) post, something I needed after this schizophrenic Ohio weather today. As if snow on November 12th wasn’t bad enough, but it’s going from cloudy, blizzardy conditions to bright, sunshine, not a cloud in the sky teasing and then right back to the clouds and blowing snow. Yuck!
The weather has been crazy, hasn’t it? I was not prepared at all for any snow!
Yes, the anti-vaccine stuff is alive and well in my neighborhood. When they get a little older, I have a good book to recommend them to read written by this amazing writer/doctor/blogger! 😉
Haha, that should hopefully inspire a flu shot, at least. 🙂 (Thank you!)
Flu shots are a must! 😉 Can’t wait to read your next novel!!!
Thank you. 🙂
Glad yesterday was a lovely day. We had a snow storm at night but all the snow was gone by morning.
This story is adorable. You gotta love kids. Everything’s so serious. 🙂
They are such funny kids! I do love how they make a decision and then their imaginations bring it to fruition!
😀
That is greatness! I may need to move to your neighborhood, it seems the kids have it all under control!
Come on over! There is a house for sale down the street, and we are obviously under great protection here! 😉
I bet they heard it at school. Had to be! Boy they’re brave. I hate zombies.
I don’t like them very much either! Lol! It feels like so many books/shows/movies are zombie related. Crazy!
Yeah, I can’t get into it. I can see how kids would think they’re cool though!
Hilarious! Now that mine are all (mostly) grown, I feel a lot less safe… from zombies. 😉
I can send mine over anytime you feel there may be a zombie presence! 😉
I’d love that! 😀
Hahaha! This is awesome.
(And better a kid preparing for the zombie apocalypse than *someone’s* grown, adult uncle.
)
I know what you mean! My kids love Minecraft, too, and there seem to be an astounding number of videos on Youtube of adults playing Minecraft and narrating the game. Insanity!
Awww…I miss my boys being little. Although, in those days we were being saved from imminent takeover from Stormtroopers.
We still have some Star Wars days here, but zombies in the thing this week! 😉
They must know something we don’t. Kids have a way of knowing stuff sometimes. I would listen to them and offer to make them hot chocolate for their watch.
They do! And they did get snacks out of me (brownies with M&Ms was the best I could do!) 🙂
So cute.
That is really hilarious. I can’t believe they’ve got the neighborhood zombie watch meetings and everything.
On a side note–I do think the zombie stuff is odd. My daughter has a pretty tame Halloween book where various costumed characters are coming to the door (stuff like dinosaurs & spiders) and then outta nowhere a zombie comes to the door, and the kiddo in the book says, “Oh no! I’m afraid of real life dead people!” Seriously?? I about fell over the first time that I read the book, but it’s totally part of the reading stacks now and I sorta wonder it’s just something that kids talk/know about the way that they know that I can just “get more money” from the machine.