Comic Sans is My Kryptonite

Yes, it’s true. Comic Sans is my Kryptonite. Quick fact for anyone living under a rock, kryptonite is the green rock-like substance that renders Superman powerless. Comic Sans does that to me. I absolutely vehemently despise the font. Pure hate. Hulk-like anger fills me and I can’t even think. It is paralyzing. Why in the world is it even a real font?

Font choices are very important. For instance, if there was an article written in the New York Times using Comic Sans, how seriously would it be taken? It’s called tone and the tone of Comic Sans says, “I am an idiot.”

I have despised Comic Sans since college. I worked as a copy editor for the university’s paper, and sometimes people would submit articles written entirely in Comic Sans. This was really at the early onset of email correspondence, so these folks purposefully chose Comic Sans from their font list (which may have consisted of 25ish choices) and then printed the article to submit completely in Comic Sans. I began to toss these submissions. It was just too dreadful to look at.

After college, I realized that the business world really didn’t work with Comic Sans… that is until PowerPoints. It was amazing when intelligent, educated humans would break out a PowerPoint with every header in Comic Sans. It was…comical (pun completely intended).  The tragedy? They just kept coming. Each and every time someone put together a meeting and used PowerPoint, there it was. It was as if Comic Sans was haunting my every move. It got to the point where I, in sheer annoyance, told my boss how distracting and unprofessional the font looked. Maybe that is why I don’t work there anymore? Hmmmm. Damn you, Comic Sans.

When I was teaching high school English, I had a very strict rule about the evil Comic Sans. In fact, I have given back EVERY essay written in Comic Sans. It was up to me to make sure seniors know that Comic Sans is not acceptable – not for an essay, not for a resume, not for anything. I refused to look at the dribble of the blastedly ridiculous font.

Why am I losing my mind over Comic Sans today of all days? Well, I was forwarded a…wait for it…you know what it is…a PowerPoint to review and edit. Guess what font was used in THE ENTIRE THING??? Ding, ding, ding – we have a winner! Comic stupid Sans. I about lost my shit. I had to close my pretty MacBook Pro, refill my coffee and I even contemplated screaming and running from my office into the freezing Ohio winter.  But I didn’t. Instead, I sat down and turned every slide’s font into Arial. Thirty-three slides later and the Comic Sans was no more. Whew.

But I will concede there may be a small few instances when Comic Sans is acceptable. For example, if one is sending an invite for a child’s birthday party. However, the child must be under the age of five and Comic Sans must only a header. Comics in the newspaper since they are COMICS. And the last acceptable usage would be for elementary teachers. Because, they are, in fact, a human representation of Comic Sans.

And guess what? I Googled “No Comic Sans” and I’m not alone in my hatred for it. Not at all. In fact, there are mugs, mousepads, t-shirts, buttons and a huge variety of merchandise to support the No Comic Sans mission. I am comforted that Comic Sans is not just my kryptonite, but the kryptonite of many.

So, in this time of technology magic, let’s all join together and revolt against the demon font of Comic Sans. The Kryptonite of the font world.